Roger and I are co managers of FC Clowder City, as you all know, the Fantasy Premier League team owned by the Clowder Press who are contemplating adding some cat-based sports titles to their list. Here’s a picture of Bastet, Goddess of Cats, and Cats in football.

We are not doing too badly - our average over the 16 weeks we have been playing is 49. 25 points, against the overall average (so far) of 49.,69.  But  Could Do Better. We invoke the power of Bastet, the Egyptian cat goddess.

Since our last update in January, goalposts have been moved. (We speak figuratively of course,) There have been injuries, alarming dips in form, some clouding of the disciplinary landscape.  So we have made changes, while sticking  with the cat-based parameters.

Squad News

It has not been dull. 

OUT 

• Radu Dragusin , our lovely big Romanian defender,  who fell over almost instantly the minute we bought him and is out until  mid-June, probably. 

• Nicholas Jackson, our Senegalese  striker, is dealing with hamstring knack and not expected back until early April. 

• Iliman Ndiaye,  Senegalese attacking midfielder who made an explosive start but sustained a ligament injury that puts him out indefinitely. We wish him well. 

• Joao Felix, who  has been loaned to AC Milan. Yes really. The most cat of our entire squad, gone. 

 IN

A radical new approach was needed,  The good news is that wily wunderkicker Mo Salah once more basks in the favour of Bastet   and is back on pharaonic form. Roger suggested we played more like the  Egyptians and so  we have gone for:

• Omar Marmoush,  Egyptian international, the new striker for Manchester City, who immediately scored a hat trick. 

• Resplendently resurgent Djed Spence,  ambifooted Spurs. defender. Pedants - such as Belvedere - point out that he is not in fact Egyptian. This is true, as he is a Brit, his father is Jamaican and his mother is Kenyan. However, they had the very good sense to name him Diop Tehuti Djed-Hotep. This is a version of  Djedhotepre, aka Dedumose I, the 11th pharaoh of the 16th Dynasty  (1660-1600 BCE.) Power base or what?

• Darwin Núñez, impulsive Uruguayan striker for Liverpool. Not Egyptian, but he is a big animal fan. He has six dogs, but he also has two cats and he very sensibly mentions them first, following correct feline protocol.